


Gnome Fiasco

by BadHidingSpot



Series: Bradburry 2016 [12]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 10:17:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6979678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadHidingSpot/pseuds/BadHidingSpot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>random word generator used as prompts: Omnivore, Fiasco, Prong, Hunchback</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gnome Fiasco

**Author's Note:**

  * For [steamcurious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/steamcurious/gifts).



This dinner was a fiasco. Like everything good and nice Derek had tried to plan all throughout his life, this dinner turned out no differently. It went up (not literally though, thank God) in flames pretty much from start to finish.  
First of all, he'd gotten it into his head that Stiles was a vegetarian and he had to make his dad's famous roast with so many substitutions that it barely resembled food anymore. Derek was not a bad cook. In fact, Derek prided himself on being a very good cook. But it was hard to be a good cook when you had your heart set on cooking a particular meal and instead of changing meals just tried to substitute everything that made that meal a meal. Cora had warned him, several times, but he wouldn't heed her. "You can't just replace it all. Cooking is chemistry. If you change too many ingredients they won't cook together properly." Whenever she started to sound like Lydia he blocked her out. He regretted it now and made a private vow never to ignore her (or Lydia) again.  
What made it worse was that Stiles was not, in fact, a vegetarian. Derek could have made the roast without sacrificing anything and it would have been less time and less trouble. Stiles was very kind to choke the meal down and even make a few "mmm thanks!" noises. But Derek was not fooled. When he stuck the prong into the tofu based roast in collapsed, literally, into an unrecognizable lump of over marinated and under marinated bits. Watching Derek spoon these servings out to both Stiles and The Sheriff must have been very amusing because Derek kept catching glimpses of John trying not to snicker. Derek also heard Stiles not-so-subtly kicking John under the table for said snickering. Derek couldn't even be angry about it. He would have laughed at himself if he hadn't been so miserably embarrassed by it.  
One would think that the evening couldn't become worse than that. Reasonably, only one horrific thing should happen in a night. But they lived in Beacon Hills and if the Sheriff was not a target for the supernatural then the Alpha of the Hale Pack certainly was. Oh and hey, here they both were in this house not protected by mountain ash. It was a pack of vile little Garden Gnomes like something out of an R.L. Stine book. A reference that Derek himself didn't get but knew about because Stiles kept shouting about it as he thwacked the little devils away one by one with a serving spoon. Derek then realized that a serving spoon would have made more sense to dish out the fail-roast with. Derek was releasing his frustration on this point by hurling one of the gnomes away only to have it hit Stiles in the small of his back. Stiles flailed and yelped as he crumpled to the ground but, God bless him, kept on fighting off the gnomes.  
It was the Sheriff, in the end, who saved the day by blasting the head off one of the gnomes. The others, having not realized that guns were a thing, scattered their screams vanishing in the night.  
Stiles gave a whoop of approval to his father but could not stand up strait. He moved about the room like a little hunchback, trying to pick up the pieces of the ruined dinner. Derek and Sheriff both forced him to sit down while John ordered a pizza.  
Derek wallowed in his misery giving Stiles what he hoped was a relaxing back rub to ease his pain.  
"I'm sorry," Derek muttered to Stiles.  
"Huh? For what? This has been great." Stiles was trying his hardest to be sincere but Derek knew that no functioning sane person could call tonight's dinner "great". "Well I mean," Stiles admitted, "having you over. Making dinner. Hanging with my dad. That part is all great."  
Derek couldn't help but smile at that. The night was still a fiasco, but he felt confident that next time couldn't possibly be as bad.


End file.
